I'm back with 5 more marriage separation tips. If you didn't see my first 5 tips when separating, jump back. It deals with the emotional side of separation.
You can see it here: Newly Separated from Your Spouse? Do These 5 Things Right Away
This one is more about the practical side of what to do first when separating. These marriage separation tips are designed to work best when used together.
💸1. Take a Look at Your Budget
Yes, I know, most people think the first thing to do is consult a lawyer who specializes in family law. Absolutely, this is critical, so set up an appointment. But you will need all of the information in steps 1-4 to bring with you to that appointment.
You don't want to put off anything, since timing is essential. Know your strengths and weaknesses before that appointment so you don't waste time.
Evaluate everything.
Is there anything you really don't need to be spending money on that you can cut back on?
What bills may have changed with one less person living under the same roof?
Does your income cover your expenses?
Do you need to increase it if he stops providing money? How long can you do that?
How much of your lifestyle do you want to keep the same?
Do you need a new job, a side hustle, or want to go back to school?
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💳2. Get Your Credit Score
If you don't already know your score, go to creditkarma.com.
Free credit score checks as often as you want without it affecting your rating.
Find out your score. Improve it.
My new favorite tip is to pay half of your credit card payment 15 days before the due date.
Then pay the remaining half 3 days before.
This will look like you've made two payments, which you have, even though it's still the same amount out of pocket.
💰Get Financially Fit
Paying down debt and creating a nest egg will put you in a much better financial situation.
Grow your savings, and when you think it's grown enough, grow it some more.
Sit with a financial advisor; they will probably have a few financial marriage separation tips for you.
#4 Prepare for self-sufficiency
You need to prepare to go it alone. To do things you may never have done before.
While you may be doing fine now. Your spouse may still be helping out in the same ways he did before.
If he is that's great, I hope it continues.
Just be prepared in case things change.
Do you need to consider a change in your living arrangements?
What about the types of things your husband helped out with? Childcare? Home repairs? Car maintenance?
Maybe you can handle all that. Maybe he still does it for you.
But be prepared with options if not.
⚖️5. Consult a Divorce Lawyer
I'm not saying run and file divorce papers.
Just the opposite.
You need time to process. Making decisions based solely on emotions is not a good idea.
This isn't about decisions.
It's about knowing all the possible choices so you can move forward armed with all the information you need to make the right decision when you're ready.
By consulting a lawyer and knowing all the options that are available during a separation, you will feel more in control.
Make an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in divorce, often referred to as Family Law. Or even visit more than one, so you can find one that is the best fit for you.
A good divorce attorney will have legal marriage separation tips for you.
Your lawyer will be able to advise you on what legal actions are available. Answers that are not only specific to your state but also your personal situation.
No two divorces or separations look alike.
Finances, kids, property, and the dynamics of the relationship with your spouse all play a part.
How long have you been married?
Is the relationship still amicable, or is it a war zone?
Is any abuse or adultery involved?
Are you still under the same roof?
Is there a significant amount of debt?
There are so many factors that only a good lawyer can really help you with.
Google and your friends can only take it so far.
Before going to the appointment with your divorce attorney, you should be knowledgeable about your current state of finances in regards to savings, budget, debt, and property.
It will save time and money to bring as much information with you.
Don't try to wing it. Writing down is better, especially if there is a lot to remember. You may feel upset, confused, or overwhelmed once at the attorney's office, don't leave it to memory.
The marriage separation tips from above will help you prepare.
Once you leave the appointment, even if you don't move forward with filing a divorce, you will have a better idea of where you stand.
How long it takes to file court papers, how much money it will cost to file, and where you stand financially once the divorce is complete will get answered.
Meeting with the attorney may offer options and resources you didn't know were available to you. Maybe you qualify for alimony. The length of the marriage can change that.
If religion plays a part in avoiding divorce, legal separation from your spouse can be a permanent status in some states.
Some of the best advice is to understand that if you file for a divorce, it takes weeks before you have a court date for pretrial, and from that point, often another 6 months before you actually go to divorce court.
This will at least put child support orders in place immediately if that's a concern, and you can still choose not to divorce when you finally go to trial.
You can even postpone for another few months if you really think reconciling may still be a possibility.
Finally, take heart. No divorce, no matter how friendly, is easy. I hope these marriage separation tips help you navigate this brave new world.
RELATED READING
🫶5 Marriage Separation Tips for Your Emotional Health
For more info on marriage separation tips from financial experts, go here.
What marriage separation tips would you recommend for someone navigating the new waters of possible divorce? Comment below!
Mohima
Wednesday 15th of January 2020
You share an informative article. If we know how to consult a lawyer then it is very easy for us how to tell our problems.
Laurie O'Rourke
Tuesday 22nd of January 2019
Hi, Yes, having a great family law attorney is very important. I should have clarified that the tips weren't listed in any particular order of importance. Thanks for commenting.
Cannon Law
Tuesday 22nd of January 2019
In my opinion, the very first step should be selecting the best family law attorney to represent you in your divorce case. He will make sure you won't end up financially devastated in the long run.