75 Self-Care Ideas for Moms You Can Use Today

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Know all about the importance of self-care? I have some handy tips sprinkled all throughout this whole post that I feel are really helpful.

But if you want: jump straight to my list of self-care ideas for moms.

I started out writing this post with the newly single mom in mind. If you are newly single, I see you. 🫶🏻

👉 Newly Separated? 5 Things You Must Do Right Now

After a few paragraphs and a few days to let things percolate, I decided that this really is for any mom.   Dare I say every woman, no matter your situation.  

That may seem a bold statement but...

If you are older and married...yup, it applies.

If you are older and single...yup it applies.

If you are young and single...young and newly married...a new mom...a seasoned mom...you guessed it...it still applies.

Why do I think that?

Well...

I know self-care is thrown around these days so much it's annoying.   I mean, really, really annoying...you can't get away from it.

And some people think the concept of self-care is overdone.   

But here's the thing...

I'm here to tell you I believe 100% that if I had taken it seriously, I mean really seriously from the beginning of not only my marriage but my entire life, I would not have separated from my husband. 

And to top that, I'm going to say every relationship I've ever had with anyone would be different.

For me, self-care is and was one of the biggest reasons my marriage is struggling. Now that's not to say I'm to blame for everything, far from it, 😉. However, self-care and the ability to set boundaries (which is part of self-care), as well as curbing perfectionism, ahem - more self-care would have helped a great deal.

This is more than bubble baths and pedicures.  (Although they help, so anything that makes you feel good is a yes.)

This is about letting go of trying to control everything.

Asking for what you need and want. Asking for help.

This one skill and yes, self-care really is a skill. To know yourself and follow through consistently taking care of you without letting life hijack it.

Everything from career, marriage, and family is a potential hijacker to being authentic to yourself and honoring yourself enough to realize you are the only one who's going to be with you from birth to death. 

Literally no one else.

Culture teaches us not to be selfish. 

To think of others first. 

And while that's honorable, if you don't think of yourself first everything else eventually suffers, most of all you. 

I am a testament to this. 

For years I have knowingly and unknowingly put everyone else above myself and have paid for it multiple times and am still learning this lesson. 

I wrote about this when it impacted my health.

And if only I'd followed my very own advice, I bet any money my marriage wouldn't be in jeopardy.

A quick recap, over the last 16 years, I have become a mom, a caregiver, a homeschooler, and a blogger, all on top of being a wife, and of course, me. 🙂   

At one point, I was doing all of those things at once!  As if one of those doesn't impact  30 years of being a couple, imagine all of them!

I was trading myself to gain some misguided sense of satisfaction that I could do it all.

And yes, I really believed I could. And often still do.

I would refuse help from my husband because I thought I had to handle everything in the house since he worked and I stayed home.

I wouldn't ask the kids for help because my perfectionist side wanted it done just so that I would oversee it all and waste more time that way.

And when caregiving was on my plate, outside help didn't happen because I wouldn't ask.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Or the crown slipped, hence the blog name.

While I am not blaming all of my marriage problems on my lack of self-care,  it is one of the biggest contributors.

When you don't place value on yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? 

From all corners of my life, I was undervalued by others, but no one else more than myself.

For women like me, people-pleasers, conflict avoiders, "good girls", self-care is often difficult because it (mistakenly) feels selfish.

We are constantly anxious, looking to see what others need. 

We are adapting ourselves to the situation, often bending like pretzels to fulfill others' desires, wants, and needs. 

And it's so hard to relax and not think about all the things we need to get done.

It eventually becomes awkward and uncomfortable to even recognize what we want, what makes us happy, or even feel comfortable being the one to make even simple choices.

Like the joke asking women where they want to eat.   "I don't know, where do you want to eat?" 

We don't even know, can't even make such a simple decision anymore.

When you consistently operate that way, you become angry, tired, and resentful. 

You can't be grateful, happy, or in a position to receive anything anyone else has to offer. 

You can't possibly be the person you want to be or even should be when you feel that way. 

You just have nothing to give.

Self-Care Comes in Many Forms

What works for me is not necessarily what works for you. It really is anything that feeds your soul. 

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Something that makes you feel good. 

Even something that temporarily makes you feel bad, like an ice cream when you want to lose weight, but feels so necessary to your core, you feel you must do it.

One of my most recent self-care activities was just that.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” 

-Theodore Roosevelt

Over Christmas vacation, I had a particularly difficult event happen.

I literally chose to throw myself down, push myself to stay down, and wallow in the sadness of it all. A forced wallow, if you will.

For three days, I didn't shower or get dressed; in fact, I barely did anything at all.   

I barely spoke. 

I interacted with people only when completely necessary.

From the time I got up until going to bed, I just stared at the TV. 

I ate what was most immediately available, like cereal or quick picks from the fridge. 

I allowed myself to be in mind-numbing nothingness. 

When I couldn't get lower, I pushed lower.  It was a conscious decision. 

Then on day 3, I went to bed with the conscious decision that's enough of that.   

I knew I couldn't stay there.

The next day I got up, knowing no more, but being deliberate in the thought that it would be calculated baby steps out. 

So I consciously said to myself.  And often, out loud. 

"What do I need to do today?" or even "What's the next step?" 

Breakfast.  Okay, you can do that.  And I'd do it. 

Then okay, what's the next step?  Shower.   

Okay, you can do that. 

And so on, over and over again.

I did that for as long as it took, and sometimes I still revert back to it. It works very well for me to stay focused.

Having been much better for it.  Like rising out of the fire. 

Though at the time, I visualized a manhole with a ladder and climbing up to the next step and the next.

You might be saying, "Well, that's just fine. But when am I supposed to do all this? I have kids, a husband, and a home to run. I don't have time!"

Oh, I know.  Believe me.  It's simple, just not easy. But with practice, it gets easier.

How to Make All This Self-Care Happen

(Especially when you're busy, and we're all busy.)

So what's the next step?

These will help you create more time for self-care, to then put back into yourself.

• Stop trying to control everything.
• Give up trying to be everyone's everything.
•  Let go of what people think.
• Ask for help. (and accept offers)
• Don't say yes when you want to say no.

Again, it's not easy. 

But for real, it works.

What's Next

Brainstorm a list of self-care ideas that YOU like.

Stuck? That's ok, after a long time of not doing things for yourself, it might take time to know or remember what those things might be.

Try to make a list of at least 10. 

The more immediate the feel-good, the better. 

Because they are quick boosts. 

Meaning, if exercise makes you feel good when you're done, but you hate doing it, then it can be on the list, but it's not your best choice.

It should feel fun, not like work.

They also don't need to take a lot of time. 

It could be as simple as putting lotion on your feet. 

If it's something you wish you did but often skip, it's a good one for the list. Don't be afraid to add things to the list you've never done. They won't be the go-tos at first, but they're good to jot down for later.

Strive to do 3 every day.   

Get this printable blank DIY 30-Day Challenge sheet that can be used for any type of challenge. Get more printables like these as part of the subscriber-only exclusives in The Vault.

If you have little kids, like under 3, if they nap, yeah, if not, you need helpers. 

Older siblings, spouse, neighbor, whoever.   

Yes, they may go to bed early, but that's good spouse time. 

If you work (at home or outside, no matter), then your time is even smaller, but it can be done.

If your kids are older, woo hoo, they have time where they do things on their own, but also they are now part of the self-care plan. 

They can do stuff that's normally on your list. 

Done is better than perfect; let that shit go.

From meals to housework to errands. 

Depending on age, kids can do so much more than we give them credit for. Besides, it's not just good for them, it's good for you and your marriage.

Take a hard look at what you can delegate. 

And learn to go do you when they are pitching in.  Learn to receive.

Still Need Ideas for Self-Care?

Perhaps society thinks activities like taking a shower "shouldn't be" self-care, but are everyday basic tasks, and while that's true in theory, for those of us who have anxiety and depression or are just overwhelmed with life at times, simple daily steps can be hard.

We should give ourselves grace for any steps we take that make us feel better and not beat ourselves and each other up for feeling proud of what seems easy to others.

75 Self-Care Ideas for Moms (or anyone)

1. Read a book
2. Do a jigsaw puzzle
3. Do a crossword or Sudoku
4. Go for a walk
5. Take a bath or shower
6. Listen to a podcast like this one
7. Read a magazine
8. Meditate
9. Work on your hobby or try a new one
10. Sing
11. Play an instrument
12. Knit or crochet
13. Color, draw, or paint
14. Write in a journal or create an entire self-love workbook like this one
15. Write poetry
16. Watch tv
17. Paint your nails
18. Window shop
19. Buy yourself something...even the dollar store counts
20. Watch the birds
21. Garden
22. Pick flowers or fruit
23. Sit with your favorite drink and be still
24. Listen to music
25. Dance in your living room
26. Do yoga
27. Bake
28. Get a massage - even if your kid does it, lol
29. Play with your pet
30. Call a friend
31. Do a face mask or a facial massage like this.
32. Take a nap
33. Give yourself a massage....hands, feet, or the happy ending kind 😉
34. Connect to your spirit with an angel card...I have these.
35. Hang out at the library or bookstore
36. Go to the gym or other physical activity (swim, bike, hike, ski, kayak)
37. Go for a drive
38. Intentional wallow (if you skipped to the list, see above)
39. Scroll your favorite social media (Instagram is better, think pets and humor... less drama)
40. Take photos
41. Go to bed early
42. Sleep late
43. Drink water
44. Take your vitamins
45. Pray
46. Get outside in the fresh air (and hopefully sunshine)
47. Read affirmations and positive quotes
48. Go to the beauty parlor (for hair, skin, and nails)
49. Take your medications
50. Make a dream board
51. Go to therapy
52. Get dressed in something that makes you feel sexy
53. Put on makeup
54. Go to a movie
55. Rearrange a room or decor
56. Write a gratitude list
57. Eat a treat
58. Get some hugs
59. Make love
60. Change your sheets
61. Sugar wax your legs
62. Breathing exercises
63. Buy yourself flowers
64. Say no
65. Ask someone for help
66. Delegate a job to someone else
67. Take yourself to lunch
68. Watch funny videos
69. Do a focus session on what you want your life to look like
70. Take a day off
71. Visit a museum
72. Google places to go on vacation (just for fun)
73. In winter, put your clothes or PJs in the dryer while you shower
74. Light a candle, incense, or diffuser; we like these.
75. Do a written brain dump to get out negative thoughts or find new ideas for your next project
76. Step away from the technology
77. Sign up for a meal plan

Want to print the list of 75 ideas? No fancy printable, just typed for handy reference.📥Free Instant link - no subscription necessary.

Okay, that was me.  Now it's your turn.  What's your favorite form of self-care?

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